Recently I've had the misfortune of watching ITV's Take Me Out, on the surface a seemingly harmless yet pointless form of entertainment where 1 male is subjected to the scrutiny of 30 women before he gets to turn the gun on them. This is done through the very blunt use of lights to indicate a girl's inclination towards the particular man on show at the time. However once you dig a little deeper it becomes impossible to not be hugely annoyed by not only Patrick "Paddy" McGuinness, who's involvement in the show is of such low significance he could be replaced at points by a cardboard cut out of himself and I would fail to notice/care, but also the vapid prancing pricks who descend onto our screens in search of a hard earned fuck and the satisfaction of being able to say "They're right! I really AM beautiful!".
Round 1 of Take Me Out is a man being literally dropped in front of the women on what Paddy calls "The Love Lift" which quickly becomes a shaft to a very bland man's-only heaven where everyone must dress exactly the same and wear wax/gell in their hair at all times. Not only this but if a man who exudes any amount of difference is lowered down on what I will now affectionately refer to as "The Cock Dropper" he is more than likely to get no lights incredibly quickly. What a surprise. But anyway, let us move on.
Round 2 and 3 consist of a video detailing some definitely true aspects of the man's character/personality and a show of "talent" respectively. The video tends to contain vague and empty comments from friends or family (if you can find me someone whose friends wouldn't describe them as "loving" or "nice" then I will disregard you for lying) which end with us still not knowing anything in particular about anyone on the show be it the man or women. Well that's not entirely true, we do get inane little soundbites of giggling from the 30 women, which is hugely fucking annoying but can sometimes say something about their personality. It usually says "I'm boring and I'm trying to compensate for that by acting "bubbly"". Round 3, the "talent portion", honestly doesn't even deserve a mention. I have yet to witness anyone doing anything that could have even remotely swayed any woman who is above "moron" on the hugely biased "smart scale" that I plan on creating soon.
The truly worrying/disgusting thing about this programme which makes me livid and just depressed at the state of not only television but the general public, is the way in which people are treated if they exude anything more than a drop of difference or eccentric behaviour. There's a woman I remember on one episode who I THINK was called "Zsa Zsa", who was basically bombarded with comments that may as well have been as blunt as "WELL AREN'T YOU OLD EY ZSA ZSA? HAHAHA YOU WANT LOVE OR SEX SO YOU CAME ON THIS SHOW! THAT'S FUNNY CAUSE YOU'RE OLD! OH AREN'T YOU ECCENTRIC". It made me feel physically sick with anger and annoyance. It didn't help that she fucking played up to this ridiculous opinion of old slightly batty women. It was all just fucking awful.
I wanted to write more in this post but I've honestly been putting it off over and over again because everytime I've sat down to it the bile has risen in my throat, my body hoping the sick will then block out any memory or knowledge that Take Me Out has ever been accepted into my collective intelligence, the inevitable chunks of carrot covering important words therefore rendering this post to me as just some useless letters smushed together around sick. I want to force ignorance into my brain when it comes to Paddy McGuinness' ridiculous grin and fucking stupid catchphrases. But I can't blame him, or the women or the men. I don't know who to blame for it and nor do I care because if we're honest it is fucking pretty low on our lists of things that are painful to even acknowledge. Just, lets all pretend it never existed and then we never have to accept that the society that we live in shat it out into our televisions. I'll start the petition.
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